Monday, 31 May 2010

Apator Hates You!!!

If you are reading this and have never ridden the Cosmic Hearse, I beseech you to call shotgun and hang out with Aesop and the appendix of metal and encyclopedia of music that lives in his head. I have been turned on to so much good music thanks to him.

This is about one such music. You can find a link here:

Once I started I was hooked. Here is what I know: APATOR made a ton of demos from 1988 to 1995 and then completely vanished. The project is one person (Robert van Arnhem) , literally and figuratively, and I can only call it spoken word, or performance music, because the few demos I've heard are noises and vocals, "hate vocals" if you will, which is basically grunted chanting and/or jerking off moaning. Sort of what I imagined Abruptum to be before I heard them.

Some ol' ESL chestnuts you might break out at this years Xmas party:

"Apator's stiff cock points at the heavenly sky"
"I know where you live"
"God has horny servants"
"Fifteen unholy centimetres"
"One hell of a homo"

and who could forget the time-tested standard:

"Satan, I will be your whore"

If you're looking for metal, it is nowhere to be found, yet it pervades every aspect of this project.

Early recordings were done under different names:

Quorton (1988-1989)
Helldozer (1988)
Zaag (1989)
Apaat (1989)
Het Geluid Kruipt (1989-1990)

The demos were much discussed in zines, but when actually acquired were mostly thrown out. Partly due to homophobia (although you probably know what you're getting in to with titles like "You Would Love to Suck Apator's Cock. He Won't Let You Do It!!!"), but most likely due to the fact that this is closer to avant garde noise or amateur music and sounding nothing like... anything. You could in no way call this outsider music, because Robert van Arnhem seemed pretty well connected for a guy that whipped his dick out every chance he got around the Dutch scene or a camera or blood spurting out of his head.

Apator opened for Samael, Exhorder and Impaled Nazarene, hung out with the singer from Funeral Winds (Gorgoroth, who took some of the pictures) and his brother drummed for Thanatos. He performed in sweatpants with the crotch cut out and bled all over after cutting his head. He had a zine called Humbled Return of Christ and Horny Muhammed where he interviewed Thergothon, Bestial Summoning and Impaled Nazarene. Link

For a complete list of releases go here:

For a sample go here:

So Apator, hope you're Satan's sex slave by now, but if not, at least declared mentally competent and you hopefully aren't the racist asshole we once knew you as. If not, then jerk on (or is it off?) you hell of a homo... God has horny servants, indeed!

If anyone has more info, please slip it in!

PS this is extreme music and you may find the politics not to your liking... racism and religious hatred abound... caveat emptor

BONUS! hilarious write up from rasputin at Sputnik Music:

Satan’s most blasphemous and prolific child out of Rotterdam, Robert van Arnhem aka Apator lives and works in the deepest recesses of sacrilegious krieg. Between the years of 1988 and 1996 van Arnhem recorded the diabolical manifestations of the Dark Lord so that his children and followers could unite under the one banner, to raise the flames and angelic defilement from the depths of the underworld. Masturbate in Praise of Black Satan is merely one of many worthy tomes of satanic and profane ruination, representing the unadulterated worship of the Antichrist. For the entirety of its length, Apator spews forth the message and heretical divinations of the Dark Lord so that we may besmirch our bodies and minds.

Where the remainder of Apator’s discography supplements his manifesto of destruction, Masturbate in Praise of Black Satan is the pinnacle of Satan’s will on this earth. To sit in the dark and hear the very voice of the one who will take us to transcendent realms of existence is an experience for all of the world, for all of the Antichrist’s possessions. It is expected that with the aid of such irreverent recordings we prepare ourselves for the ultimate profligacy, by which our souls will utter the vile words of acceptance and we accept Satan into our hearts.

Summary: In your prayers, remember: your Soul is your nearest, and the bringer of all good things. Your God is stone deaf.

Rated: 5.0 CLASSIC

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Scream Bloody Gore!

I love animals. I love metal. And this is the second best New York Post cover ever... enjoy!

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Tomata or Tomita???

Tomata du Plenty vs. TOMITA in a no-holds-barred rumble to the cosmic trash heap... WHO WOULD WIN?

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Another Page

This page didn't make it due to space restraints. I gave up trying to "bold" a circle part way through, but I really wanted this in the book. In hindsight, it's probably for the best, but I really like looking at it... so....

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Another Page

I replaced this page with an actual drawing. I changed the words in this one, then went back to the original. I just wasn't satisfied with the font, the placement, the words... it just didn't come together. Although this won't be in any future publications, I do like the photo. Going through these I'm realizing that I replaced a lot of the photos with drawings... I think it's for the best...

Thanks for checking it out!

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